the first folio

my name is widely know...
my sorrow has now grown...
I'm dressed in black...mourning...
i cant tell if I'm going insane...
what I've seen.....
damn it all this life is like a garden that no one cares for.
only nasty disgusting shit grows on it...
but maybe not as disgusting as what my mother has done...

who am i????

thats right
Hamlet

last day of moon over buffalo....

wow..
really...
this is going to be a bittersweet day...
im gonna miss doing the show...
aaaahhhh....
shit...
well i better get the good out of all of this...
im going to make this my BEST performance yet :)

i dont know what i want....

i feel like shit...
i seriously dont know what i want...
I know what i want to do after high school
but i dont know what i want right now...
she's still in my mind...
why...
fucking hell
i despise her...
i wish i'd never met her...
fuck but that is not the least of my worries...
i dont want to say alot...
right now.
yes.
very much.

here we go again... :)

its preview number two and I'm excited...
i just want to say that i love theater and that today was a good day, except for one thing...
i started thinking about an idea that i had a while ago...
i will discuss in later blogs...
i just need to think it through...
see you on stage..

scottie doesnt know....

its 6:20
and cabaret started a while ago...
i had a talk with a friend and i ended up getting a bit depressed...
but its ok im feeling better...
ugh...

my name is howard

intermission for the first night of moon over buffalo. the audience is loving it...and its gonna get better :)

Sweeney Todd
What can I do for you today sir? A stylish trimming of the hair? Soothing skin massage. Sit sir. Sit.

Judge Turpin
You see sir a man infatued with love. Her ardent and eager slave. So fetch the pomade and pumice stone
and lend me a more seductive tone
a sprinkling perhaps of French cologne but first sir I think a shave.

Sweeney Todd
The closest I ever gave
*whistles*

Judge Turpin
In a merry mood today Mr. Todd?

Sweeney Todd
'Tis your delight sir catching fire from one man to the next.

Judge Turpin
'Tis true sir love can still inspire the blood to pound, the heart leap higher. What more

Sweeney Todd
What more?

Judge Turpin and Sweeney Todd
Can man require

Judge Turpin
Than love sir

Sweeney Todd
More than love sir

Judge Turpin
What sir?

Sweeney Todd
Women

Judge Turpin
Ah yes women

Sweeney Todd
Pretty women

Now then my friend.
Now to your purpose.
Patience. Enjoy it.
Revenge can't be taken in haste.

Judge Turpin
Make haste and if we wed you'll be commended sir

Sweeney Todd
My lord.
And who may it be said is your intended sir?

Judge Turpin
My ward.
And pretty as a rose bud

Sweeney Todd
Pretty as her mother?

Judge Turpin
Hmm? What was that?

Sweeney Todd(spoken)
Nothing sir. Nothing.
(sung)
Pretty women
Fascinating...
Sipping coffee,
Dancing...
Pretty women
Are a wonder.
Pretty women,

Sitting in the window or
Standing on the stair
Something in them chills the air.
Pretty women

Judge Turpin
Silhouetted...

Sweeney Todd
Stay within you,

Judge Turpin
Glancing...

Sweeney Todd
stay forever,

Judge Turpin
Breathing lightly...

Sweeney Todd
Pretty women,

Judge Turpin and Sweeney Todd(together and alternating)
Pretty women!

Blowing out their candles or
Combing out their hair,
Combing out their hair then they leave
Even when they leave you and vainish they somehow can still can remain there with you
Even when they leave
They still are there.
They're there
Ah! Pretty women,

Sweeney Todd
At their mirrors,

Judge Turpin
In their gardens,

Sweeney Todd
Letter-writing,

Judge Turpin
Flower-picking,

Sweeney Todd
Weather-watching.

Sweeney Todd and Judge Turpin
How they make a man sing!
Proof of heaven as you're living,
Pretty women! Sir, pretty women!
Yes pretty women,
Pretty women,
Pretty women,
Pretty women


Amazing...
i love sweeney todd
its an amazing musical...
but this song has to be my favorite...

JOHANNA:
He means to marry me Monday,
What shall I do? I'd rather die.
ANTHONY:
I have a plan
JOHANNA:
I'll swallow poison on Sunday,
That's what I'll do, I'll get some lye.
ANTHONY:
I have a plan
JOHANNA :
Oh, dear, was that a noise?
ANTHONY:
A plan
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a noise.
ANTHONY;
A plan!
JOHANNA:
It couldn't be,
He's in court,
He's in court today,
Still that was a noise,
Wasn't that a noise?
You must have heard that
ANTHONY:
Kiss me.
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir...
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss ...
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir ...
If he should marry me Monday,
What shall I do? I'll die of grief.
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight
JOHANNA:
'Tis Friday, virtually Sunday,
What can we do with time so brief?
ANTHONY:
We fly tonight ...
JOHANNA:
Behind the curtain ... quick!
ANTHONY:
Tonight ...
JOHANNA:
I think I heard a click!
ANTHONY:
Tonight!
JOHANNA:
It was agate!
It's the gate!
We don't have a gate.
Still there was a ... Wait!
There's another click!
You must have heard that ...
ANTHONY:
It's not a gate.
There's no gate,
You don't have a gate.
If you'd only listen, miss, and
ANTHONY;
Kiss me!
JOHANNA:
Tonight?
ANTHONY:
Kiss me.
JOHANNA:
You mean tonight?
ANTHONY:
The plan is made.
JOHANNA:
Oh, sir!
ANTHONY;
So kiss me.
JOHANNA:
I feel a fright.
ANTHONY:
Be not afraid.
JOHANNA:
Sir, I did
Love you even as I
Saw you, even as it
Did not matter that I
Did not know your name.
ANTHONY:
Tonight I'll
Steal
You,
JOHANNA,
I'll steal you ...
ANTHONY:
It's me you'll marry on Monday,
That's what you'll do!
JOHANNA:
And gladly, sir.
ANTHONY:
St. Dunstan's, noon.
JOHANNA:
I knew I'd be with you one day,
Even not knowing who you were.
I feared you'd never come,
That you'd been called away,
That you'd been killed,
Had the plague,
Were in debtor's jail,
Trampled by a horse,
Gone to sea again,
Arrested by the ...
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
ANTHONY:
Of course.
JOHANNA:
Quickly!
ANTHONY:
Ah, miss,
Marry me, marry me, miss,
Oh, marry me Monday!
Favor me, favor me
With your hand.
Promise,
Marry me, marry me, please,
Oh, marry me Monday ...
ANTHONY:
You're sure?
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
ANTHONY:
I shall!
JOHANNA:
Kiss me!
Oh, sir ...

its a very beautiful song... :)
that is all..

I have changed the name of my blog..

to something more... suitable.
im very happy with it.
so...
today was good.
except for her presence...
she's unnecessary... someone should dispose of her...
yeeeeahhh!!!!!!
bitchhhh.....
i need some of that good stuff that'll make me feel good

the other night...

the name of canelita came into my mind...
and she was not nice

cue to cue

your presence is not desired here.
leave now woman before I do something i might regret.
your beauty is not wanted here
please do me the favor to leave.

i need you sweet demoness
you who numbs me of all the pain.
you who makes me forget.

you...
the one that nearly drove me into madness
dressed in white...
when your soul is pitch black....
you...
the one that lied...
the one that swore...
you have no right to look me in the eye...

11th hour

The hour of wreckoning draws near
Judgment day is here and gone
Sweetly she draws me into her arms
A liquid embrace to chase the day way.
Sedate Numb Deaf and Dumb
Stumbling into solitude.
A clouded judgment day is fueled.
Take me under your black wings
Mark my words and remember me.
So sweetly she shucks away at my time
So sweetly she draws me nigh
Closer and closer towards never ending sleep
Spin the bottle
Kiss only the bottle.
The dark mistress of many, beholden to none
Slips a ring of needles around your arm in an engagement
Eternal engagement
Never consummated.
Take me under your black wings
Mark my words and remember me.
Destroyer of senses.
So take as needed for the pain
Another gray morning dawns across an ashen sky.
My sweet demoness beckons me
Ever again and again and again and again.
The dark mistress of many, beholden to none
My sweet demoness beckons me
Ever again and again and again and again and again.
Take me under your black wings.
Jacked up on the taste of self-destruction

I love this fucking song, its so beautiful.
Its the best song in the album.
it just makes me feel good. :)
Oh i also got the panda cd i was waiting for.
it came early so im happy :D



its cue to cue today, and this day is always long.
...
yep i should have brought my guitar or something...
but its ok i have blogger and my ipod and people!!!!
yaaaay!!!
......
i should have brought my guitar...
this new panda cd is sounding good, i love it.
its just inspiring me because the vocalist (pepe) left mexico for months and he started writing the lyrics and the guitar, and he then sent the recordings to the other band members.
hahahahahaha
its fun to have a conversation about liquor hahahahahahhahaha
talking about tequila and having fun with drunk friends...thats good :)

this is about nothing

yes yes very much...
im back..
and im in the drama room now :)
i love this place, its so friggin cool..
back to topic...oh wait...again i have no topic!!!!
wait...
i just went to get some food
the play is going great, but i kinda sucked yesterday..
oh shit...
im happy yesterday i ordered the new panda cd. it has two cd's pack full of songs so im exited.
the cd is called poetics :)it should be here next week...gaaah its too long of a wait :/
but then again i've been trying to buy if for a while sooo...
chyeaaaahhhhh......
i just yelled "FIIIIIISH" at kevin hukill...
kudos to kevin... he got a fish hahahahaha.....
im fucking weird......
it started raining again...somehow...
and it just remined me of mexico..shiiit i miss that place...
i started talking to my mother about going in december...our friend said we can bunk in his house..
i really really want to go again..
i should change...
but it wont take me that long... oh shit..damn i've typed alot right now...heh heh...
fuckin hell...im really tired....
well im leaving....
i gotta take care of some bussiness....
yeeeahhhhh....
bye

Disscussing hip hop at mrs baumbgarthner's class.and books. and other shit.
i have now noticed how obbessed i have become with hamlet. i have no idea why. he just seems so..dark.
he's deppressed and he is a very vengeful person.
vengeful...is that a real word???
oh well...
i should start working on the monolougue i picked out. its from hamlet, here is a part of it...

Oh, that this too, too sullied flesh would melt,
Thaw, and resolve itself into a dew,
Or that the Everlasting had not fixed
His canon 'gainst self-slaughter! O God, God!
How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable
Seem to me all the uses of this world!
Fie on ’t, ah fie! 'Tis an unweeded garden
That grows to seed.

yeeeah....
i was going to do the twelfth night monolougue but i decided not no..
is that how you spell monolougue????
holy shit i feel like a dumbass..
bah, oh well.
back to hamlet, shakespeare is complicated but hey!!!! sparknotes gave me no fear shakespeare!!!!! :)
now i can understand this complicated beautiful piece of literature..
yes very much. well its almost time to go so im going to sign off..
later..

shit i havent gotten in here in a while, so much has happened!!!!....
well...
hahahahaha anyways, its spring break!!!!! and opening night for the play is coming!!!!!!!!!
its called moon over buffalo and its going to be funny as hell!!!!!!!!!!
so if you are following me then you better go :)
i'm going to sign out for a while so i'll keep updating later today!!!! :)

aaaaaah so its four thirty in the fucking morning and i cant go to sleep, its not that i'm not sleepy, its just that i cant go to sleep cuz i have to go early to school and im paranoid like that!!!!!!!!
....
....
....
so i found an interesting notebook in the commons....it was just there, and it had some notes and shit soooo....hahahahahahaha they are very interesting but i will tell you more about them later. shiiiit its been a while hahahahahahaha....uuggh.... oh well back to topic...wait i got no topic!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh crap...i feel like passing out on the key bord... that would be nice.....cxvvbfdfbvyrryfrfg57tg5t754b8fgy54wv 457ob gugwbgb........
.....
.....
oww....
oh well... whatever im gonna go!!!!! good morning!!!!!!!!!

its 12:04
im going to dennys around three.
why???? cuz tis cool hahahahahahaha
motherfuckers....
thats okay i just wanted to curse. im craving some Chinese food but whatever.
aaaahhh guadalajara mexico...
i miss you so....
i miss your bittersweet rain...
i miss your thunderous thunder....
i miss your sweet and macabre stories...
i miss your foods and traditions...
i miss your mariachi bands...
how can violence tear us apart like this???
or lack of money???
everytime i think of you i cant help it but to sigh with melancholy...
guadalajara...
guadalajara...
hueles a pura pinche tierra mojada...
ay...
ay ay...
ay...
ay ay...
shit.

i miss that place.
i seriously cant wait to go back to the place where i was raised...
violence...revolution is regenerating in the country south of these united states of america.....
and i will not be a part of it...
why you ask????
cuz i not there...
fuuuuuck....
well oh well....
whatever...thats all i really wanted to talk about....
playing x-box is fun, i guess i can play some more till my uncle comes home and then we can all go to denny's hahahahahahahahahaha
people... if you are reading this... please........ comment give me some feed back, if u tweet.... please follow me..seriously follow me... i havent been tweeting cuz i have no one that follows me...
ask me for my twitter user name...
ok???
ok...
aaaahhhhh.....
yes yes very much.....
ok talk to u later.. bye :D

i LOVE being single!!!!!!!!!! i can flirt around and shit and no one ever gives me crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha so yeah
yesterday i was all ready to go and see my friends play at the vets hall when they told me that the place was shut down...so no metal shows for a while :(

theres gonna be a show on friday, that one guy from twilight is gonna be there he's the bassist of a band, but im gonna go see black and red hearts and im really really exited to see them, well i guess i'll go back to cleaning the kitchan!!!!

ms baumbgartners class is the perfect time to do this, i havent even talked to her today but fuck it. i got rehersals.i still feel down...
i promise my next posts will be about something interesting :)

im sorry i've been posting really sad posts, i promise i'll be posting more random shit later later, and this shit wont be depressing or anything i promise :)

today was fun i met awesome friends who will listen to me which is awesome, i really felt good talking to people and going out and shit...but i still dont want to go to school tomorrow...fuck man...
oh well i basically broke up with her today so i guess its good i really dont need her... fuck it she knows what she did as much as she denies it... so im going single so i guess i'll mingle a bit....so im kinda happy about that but i wont whore around :)

school tomorrow...

i dont wanna go...mainly cuz of her....
who is reading my blog????nobody????!!!! seriously if ur reading my blog then talk to me!!!!!!!!!

febuary 14th

so....my first blog....today is febuary the fourteenth and i feel like shit.
If you are wondering why the ask me later cuz i"ve been telling lotsa people about my problems so..im tired of explaining for now. but basically is a sort of heartbrake, it has happened before. anyways it wasnt gonna go anywhere, and deep down inside i knew this but i didnt want to listen.
ehhh.... well shit whatever. it doesnt matter anymore im going to break up with her. it wouldnt work anyways...fuck it.